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Book #1: Kiss Me , Ahab ! A Queer Novella In 120 Cantos (Published)

When I set out to write "Kiss Me, Ahab!", a satire of John Milton's "Paradise Lost," as well as of Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick,” I knew I was embarking on a daring and audacious endeavor. In this blog post, I want to take you on a journey through the creation of my manuscript — a novella in one hundred and twenty cantos — that attempts to queer the Western literary canon over 550 times through the use of footnotes.

From the moment I put pen to paper, my goal was clear: to challenge the norms, biases, and assumptions ingrained within the Western literary tradition. With every canto and each carefully crafted footnote, I aimed to subvert the established narratives and present a fresh perspective that embraces queerness, diversity, and inclusivity.

"Kiss Me, Ahab!" is a rebellion against the literary canon's exclusionary tendencies. I wanted to disrupt the heteronormative, cisgender narratives that have dominated our literary landscape for far too long. It was time to center queer experiences, voices, and desires within the canon and critique the conventions that limited the representation of marginalized identities.

Through the poetic cantos, I sought to explore the depths of love, identity, and the human condition from a queer lens. Each verse became an intimate space where emotions ran wild, desires were celebrated, and the complexities of existence were laid bare. By infusing my verses with moments of self-discovery, intimacy, and personal liberation, I hoped to spark conversations that challenge societal norms and encourage readers to question the status quo.

The footnotes, those little subversive gems scattered throughout "Kiss Me, Ahab!", became my voice of critique. With over 550 footnotes meticulously placed throughout the manuscript, I seized the opportunity to interrogate the Western literary canon. Each annotation served as a provocation — a call to reevaluate long-held assumptions and biases that have shaped our understanding of literature. These footnotes became a testament to the power of critical analysis and a celebration of the diverse voices that have been silenced or marginalized within the canon.

"Kiss Me, Ahab!" is not just a novella; it is an invitation — a call to arms for readers to reimagine the literary canon and demand more inclusivity. It urges us to question the boundaries of literature and embrace the vibrant tapestry of human experience. Through satire, poetry, and footnotes, I aimed to disrupt, challenge, and ultimately transform the Western literary canon into a more diverse, representative, and inclusive space.

In conclusion, "Kiss Me, Ahab!" is my love letter to the queerness within the Western literary tradition. It is an act of rebellion, a celebration of diverse voices, and a critique of the established norms that have silenced and marginalized identities. I invite you to join me on this journey of exploration, reflection, and transformation as we queer the Western literary canon one canto at a time. Together, let's create a literary landscape that embraces and uplifts the beautiful complexities of our shared humanity.

Link to purchase: The Rainbow Cantos book by G.R. Tomaini (


Kiss Me , Ahab !

A Queer Novella In One Hundred And Twenty Cantos

Table of Contents


Division I : Innocence Lost

  1. A Love Poem By Ahab Candomblé

  2. Ahab My Love ,

  3. Ahab Ruminates

  4. Move - In Day I : The Boys

  5. Move - In Day II : The Girls

  6. Sargasso State College Convocation

  7. Cultural Studies 101 I : Syllabus Week

  8. Prospero Crowley Accosted

  9. Brower Commons : Valhalla

  10. Antigone In The Mirror

  11. Alcibiades Bathing

  12. Sargasso State Involvement Fair

  13. Alcibiades Panting

  14. Doctor de Sade ' s Office I : Increase In Lithium

  15. Cultural Studies 101 II : Antonin Artaud

  16. Office Hours I : Lilith de Sade

  17. Office Hours II : Prospero Crowley

  18. Alcibiades ' s Poetry I : Ode To My Butt In These Jeans

  19. Oh , Oberon , Lord of the Fae !

  20. Office Hours III : Lilith de Sade

  21. The Subjugation of Alcibiades

  22. Lolita Adopts Two Worms

  23. Alcibiades ' s Poetry II : Mrs . Hendrickson Answers The Door

  24. Scarlet Honor Council : The Case of Alcibiades

  25. Fuck Ayn Rand : Literally !

  26. Alcibiades ' s Poetry III : Desdemona ' s Secret

  27. Cultural Studies 101 III : Emily Dickinson

  28. A Letter To My Scumbag Son

  29. Humpty Dumpty Had An Accident . . .

  30. Gay Conversion Therapy

  31. Meeting of the Leftist Society : Hadrian and Antinous Wrestle

  32. One Last Hemlock Infused Scotch For Socrates

  33. Alcibiades ' s Poetry IV : I Saw God . . .

  34. Alcibiades ' s Psyche : Black and Blue

  35. Winter Break : Miami Vibes

  36. A Matrimony Interrupted

  37. Alcibiades ' s Funeral Pyre

  38. Alcibiades ' s Poetry V : Ode To Whom ?

  39. Oberon ' s Impotency

  40. Office Hours IV : Lilith de Sade

Division II : Innocence Interrogated

  1. The Fellowship of The Light

  2. Something Is Rotten In The City of New Brunswick

  3. Ahab ' s Poetry I : Prometheus Rechained

  4. Get Lolita To A Dionysian Nunnery !

  5. Out of the Dark Crept Paul of Tarsus

  6. Ahab ' s Poetry II : He Is Don Mosquito

  7. Saint Paul Bogarts The Blunt

  8. Chaplain Zarathustra Blesses The Expedition

  9. For Doomed Is All Love !

  10. How Oberon Is A Charlatan !

  11. Enter Mephistopheles , The Prince of Lies !

  12. Ahab ' s Poetry III : The Rape of Europa By Toussaint L ' Ouverture

  13. The Demonic Possession of Ishmael Daedalus

  14. The Withdrawal of Saint Paul

  15. Rendezvous At Antinous ' s Childhood Treehouse

  16. Prospero Crowley Consulted : Let Us Resort , Then , To Magick !

  17. Lolita Takes Her Vows : Introducing Sister Lola Montez

  18. And Then They Drank From The Cask of Amontillado

  19. Mephisto ' s Presidential Proclamation I : Turn Water Into Wine !

  20. Ahab ' s Poetry IV : El Diablo On The Runway

  21. Mephisto ' s Presidential Proclamation II : Victorianism Is Our Cross !

  22. Sermon : Thus Spoke Chaplain Zarathustra

  23. Mephisto ' s Presidential Proclamation III : Football Is Sacred !

  24. Ahab ' s Poetry V : Poolside Resurrection

  25. Ahab Dreams of The Whale

  26. Doctor de Sade ' s Office II : Increase In Xanax

  27. The Witch Doctor Is In : I Scry The Leviathan !

  28. School Newspaper : Wild Knights Have Wild Nights !

  29. Ahab ' s Poetry VI : Papa Flee

  30. And Thus The Heart Will Break , Yet Brokenly Live On

  31. Pride and Prejudice and Poppers

  32. Ahab ' s Poetry VII : Crystalline Ballet Dancers , Three

  33. Mephisto and Screwtape Sit For High Tea

  34. Ahab ' s Poetry VIII : Fitzpatrick The Fetus Aborts Mommie Dearest

  35. Sister Montez Ministers To The Nerdy

  36. Ahab 's Poetry IX : Miss Betsy On Her Bench

  37. A Matrimony Uninterrupted : Bells ! Bells ! Bells !

  38. Omen : Lightning Strikes At The Ginkgo Tree

  39. The Exorcism of Ishmael Daedalus

  40. Alcibiades In Hell

Division III : Innocence Regained

  1. Where Were You On The Ides of March , Two Thousand Twenty One ?

  2. In Search of Lost Time : A Madeleine For Ahab

  3. Clarissa ' s Poetry I : Jesus In The Bathtub

  4. Mrs . Dalloway Snubs The Emperor of Ice Cream

  5. Clarissa ' s Poetry II : Berries For Dessert

  6. Nursing Home Recreation I : Mercutio The Fool

  7. Flowers of Evil For A Lachrymose Ahab

  8. Clarissa ' s Poetry III : Childbirth

  9. Lolita ' s Archived Journal I : The Fetus That Broke The Camel ' s Back

  10. Ahab Takes Up An Old Folio Containing Melville ' s Moby Dick

  11. Clarissa ' s Poetry IV : My Real Friends

  12. Lucretia Candomblé ' s Archived Journal I : I Will Say This Predator ' s Name !

  13. Ahab Uses A Walker To Have Reveries of A Solitary Walker

  14. Clarissa ' s Poetry V : No Xanax For Cicadas

  15. Prune Juice For Ahab Candomblé

  16. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway I : That Kiss , A Thousand Times Accursed !

  17. Clarissa ’ s Poetry VI : Five Hundred Gallons of Scotch Whiskey

  18. Ahab Takes A Tumble Amidst The Ginkgo Trees

  19. Alcibiades 's Archived Journal I : The Grave Is A Fine And Private Place

  20. Clarissa 's Poetry VII : Caffeine Spinal Tap

  21. Lolita ' s Archived Journal II : I Hear America Singing !

  22. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway II : The Gates of Hell Are Open Night And Day

  23. Clarissa ' s Poetry VIII : My God Pees On Trees

  24. Lucretia Candomblé ' s Archived Journal II : Pack Up The Moon And Dismantle The Sun

  25. Clarissa Dalloway Feuds With Headmaster Svengali

  26. Clarissa ' s Poetry IX : The Seatbelt Monster

  27. Alcibiades ' s Archived Journal II : Dreams of A Life Spent Together

  28. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway III : Griefs Are A Joy Long After

  29. Clarissa ' s Poetry X : Spider Real Estate

  30. Nursing Home Recreation II : Angels In America

  31. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway IV : Taste The Life Eternal !

  32. Clarissa ' s Poetry XI : A Lost Penny !

  33. Ahab Preemptively Begins His Embalming Process

  34. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway V : Time Does Not Bring Relief

  35. Clarissa ' s Poetry XII : Two Voluptuous Breasts

  36. Lucretia Candomblé ' s Archived Journal III : Is This A Dagger I See Before Me ?

  37. Visit From Clarissa Dalloway VI : Do Not Go Gentle Into This Good Night !

  38. Clarissa ' s Poetry XIII : Death of A Cell Phone

  39. Ahab Is Granted A Vision of Dionysus In Mourning

  40. The Angel of Death Comes For Ahab Candomblé

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